Don’t Ruin It for Others.

If there is one thing I dislike, but fall short of myself… it is ruining social media for other people. 

I recently have seen a trend on Tik Tok of this ‘Ginger Filter’ that women who don’t have red hair use as a way to see what red hair and freckles look like on them. I have red hair (auburn as my mom always corrects) and freckles that are on every inch of me. I know most people think this should be flattering to the ‘Ginger’ women. ‘Ginger’ is a term used for anyone with red hair, when originally. This was supposed to originally apply to people with red hair and freckles.

NOTE:

I got called this so much in high school and still today. So yes, I know the original meaning of the term ‘Ginger’ when referring to a person. Thank you South Park for a never ending joke that will live with me till I die. I do not find the term offensive. Sometimes it is quite funny when used in a humorous way or used innocently and not to degrade me.

Although this filter makes red hair and freckles flattering, when in the past those physical attributes were never even talked about much. Here is the BUT… I hate the filter. I hate it because it fuels a piece of inadequacy inside of me in regards to my looks. I have struggled most of my adolescence with my looks, and like any woman, still do. So, I made a Tik Tok expressing how ‘fake’ and ‘annoying’ I think this filter is and in a humorous way. I never posted this Tik Tok, and won’t post it publicly.

Why? I don’t want to ruin something that makes the women who enjoys the filter feel like crap and that their innocent fun is harmful. It’s not. I’m the one with the problem.

What social media does for people, and this may explain some content, is present a release. The sharing of your ideas openly in a way that makes the heart flutter. It provides some idea that you took a brave step, which provides a small adrenaline rush. Even as you post about your meal. 

There is excitement in feeling that maybe for a moment, what you have or do or say is important and worth sharing. However, that still puts you into a vulnerable situation. You posted your content for possible scrutiny. 

It used to be so simple. There weren't any influencers in the early years of social media. There were businesses, sure, but you usually had a Facebook to see what your friend the next town over was doing. Find old friends from high school or college you got out of touch with. A great resource for families to get updates and pictures of your growing family when they live across the country.

Now? Social media is bombarded with ads, and politics, and teens doing weird thirst traps that make me AGGRESSIVELY uncomfortable. What comes from this? What happens is now everyone’s flittering and initially emotionally charged thought is valid. And those thoughts can be at the detriment of YOU. This is why teens on social media is dangerous to their own sense of worth. When I was a teen (in the 2000s - 2010s) and had a Facebook account it was to see what everyone was doing. Get tagged in photos that you look gross in. Poke your friends back and forth as a weird virtual staring contest. Direct Message each other about the drama from today or ask to see who did the homework and if they will give you the answers. How I long for teens to have such a more simple social media landscape. Now every drama is publicized and every flittering thought has ground, and bullying is acceptable if you are ‘on the right team’. 

If you want the landscape of social media to change? Don’t post the video. Don’t make the comment. Think about how it makes you feel to see that comment or get stitched to that. If you have something that you feel is genuinely important to say, and you think you can handle the backlash? Go for it. But not at the expense of someone else if you can help it.

I know maybe my video really wasn’t that bad, and I added it to this blog so you can see (hiding the woman’s account of course). Yet, when I looked at it from the woman’s point of view I realized she was complimenting the ‘Ginger’ aesthetic that I naturally have.

I personally think the filter is still ridiculous and the hair color would only be achieved with hair dye, even if you were a redhead with a similar color. The freckles are not accurate to how they actually are. Make-up usually ends up hiding my freckles if I put it on, so the level of foundation on the filter is also unrealistic for natural freckles. I digress…

Don’t ruin social media fun for others. You can make a video to get the release of your thoughts out. But, it doesn’t have to be shared at someone else's expense. They are not a product you can use for your own personal gain.